EFT Couple’s Therapy
Do you ever feel that you and your partner are having the same argument over and over, even when the topic of the argument differs? Do you ever feel like a broken record or like there’s nothing you can say that will make it better?
I know I have felt that way with my own partner, and I know from experience that no amount skills training or communication strategies help in those moments. And that’s why I love EFT, because it goes beyond the surface to find the underlying issues leading to withdrawing, anger, resentment, and disconnection.
What is EFT?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a humanistic approach created by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s. It brings together the rigor of brain science and the nuances of humanistic and experiential approaches to create a model that focuses on emotion and emotion regulation as the core features of the human experience.
EFT is a short-term (between 8-20 sessions) structured-approach. The therapist works from a systematic map to understand the couples’ relationship: what works, what went wrong, and to help re-build safety and increase connection.
Why EFT?
Aside from the fact that it combines two of my favorite areas in the field of psychology: neurobiology and emotion regulation, I chose to pursue EFT because it works and it has the data to back it up!
As a therapist, it’s important to me to offer treatments that are efficacious. I know all too well that to come to therapy one is making a huge investment of time, money, and emotional resources; and therefore, I want that investment to pay off! EFT for couples does just that!
EFT has been researched for over three decades and has been proven to work! The research shows that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvement, making it the gold standard for empirically validated couples intervention.
“The most functional way to regulate difficult emotions in love relationships is to share them.”
— Sue Johnson
What happens in EFT?
We start with an assessment of the couple’s primary issues, including the relationship history and each partner’s attachment history.
We then stay very present with what is happening in the room - from here we learn to recognize the negative patterns that have been leading to disconnection, and we practice how to repair and reconnect during our sessions.
EFT Training
Training in EFT is rigorous and may take several years, depending on how far a therapist wishes to go.
Carol has advanced training in EFT, which means completing a weeklong externship, a year long training course, and completing EFT individual supervision that includes review of video recorded couples sessions.
EFT explained
Dr. Sue Johnson provides a brief summary of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This leading edge, empirically validated form of therapy which is taught all over the world. EFT is based on the last 50 yrs of scientific research on bonding: bonding between mother and child and romantic bonds between partners.
The International Center for Excellence in EFT (ICEEFT)’s website has detailed information about EFT, including the research, and an EFT therapist directory.